Are You Tempted to Be Unfaithful? - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - January 20

Audio By Carbonatix

Are You Tempted to Be Unfaithful? 

By: Vivian Bricker

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)

Husbands and wives can both have difficulty communicating their needs. However, it can be especially hard for husbands. Living in a patriarchal world has caused many men to think they cannot show any emotion outside of anger. This is a tragedy, yet it is something we need to acknowledge. It is not entirely clear why anger is an acceptable emotion for men compared to sadness or anxiety, but it could be related to toxic masculinity.

The church is no stranger to toxic masculinity—many Christians promote this idea themselves. This is dangerous and can cause lasting damage to everyone involved. Not only does it lead men to develop the bad habit of harboring anger for every emotion, but it also causes them to struggle with communicating their needs, desires, and struggles. In a way, husbands have to relearn how to navigate emotions and communicate their needs when they are in their twenties, thirties, or forties.

However, women can also struggle in this area, and it can be due to various reasons. Perhaps your wife’s needs were never met when she was younger, or a parent shamed her for expressing her needs. This could cause her to think her needs, wants, and desires are not important. If this is true for your wife, you will have to be a supportive person to her and help her to learn to communicate her needs in a healthy way.

Therefore, husbands and wives, you can both help each other. Even if you both struggle in this area, you can start learning the art of communicating your needs today. While it is not something that can be learned overnight, it is something that can be developed with time. Christian marriage counseling is a great place to start and a safe space for you and your spouse to share your feelings.

Unfortunately, many Christians have a negative view of marriage counseling, but this is something that needs to end. There is nothing wrong with marriage counseling; it can truly help your marriage grow and blossom. It can help you communicate your needs better ad understand your spouse on a deeper level. As a married couple, you both need to put time and effort into each other. It may be that marriage counseling is the best approach.

When we go to the Bible, we see the half-brother of the Lord tell us, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). This is a passage from the Bible that details the importance of listening to others. Within the topic of today’s devotional, it helps us to take time to listen to our spouse and truly be present when they communicate their needs.

James tells us we need to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. This is true not only for our interactions with our spouse, but also for our interactions with others. Keeping a heart of grace, love, and kindness will ensure we become a safe place for our spouse to share their feelings. We need to take time to listen to them, be fully present, and sympathize with their feelings.

When our spouse opens up and communicates their needs, we need to validate what they are telling us. Rather than laughing or making fun of their needs, we need to support them and show genuine care. Our spouse is the most important person to us besides Jesus. This means we need to truly care about them, their needs, and their desires. We cannot do this apart from listening to them when they communicate their needs.

As we continue to be a safe space for our spouse, they will start becoming more comfortable sharing their needs with us. This will take time, yet it is worth the wait. In the meantime, go to God in prayer, ask Him for guidance, and ask Him to give your spouse support. One of the best things we can do for our spouse at the present time is to pray for them. Let’s start today:

Prayer:

“Dear Lord, I want my spouse to feel comfortable sharing their needs with me. They often struggle to express their feelings, needs, and wants. I need You to help them open up to me. I understand it can be hard for them to share their needs, but I never want my spouse to withhold their needs from me. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.”

Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.

Related Resource: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and. your connection. To learn more, visit https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/.